Texas and Au Jus are unbeaten in conference play and coming off road wins heading into That Thing You Do next Saturday in the Cotton Bowl. But in my view, neither is walking with a swagger. In each case, that’s a nervous limp.

Bijan Robinson’s 216-yard romp aside, the Longhorns displayed adolescent immaturity in beating TCU in Fort Worth for the first time in eight years. The Frogs were intent on giving away the game, but Texas simply refused to accept the presents, turning three first half TCU turnovers into just nine points.  Dicker the Kicker should not have been that busy.

Fast forward to the fourth quarter. Texas on the TCU one-yard-line, already up 32-20 with a chance to take a knockout 19-point lead. The ‘Horns failed to punch it in on fourth down, leading to a 99-yard TCU TD drive. Instead of a 19-point gap, the final margin was just five.  That’s not what Big Boy Teams do.

Shut up, Au Jus. You got no room to talk. You had every chance to put K-State away in Manhattan. But that ended up being a 6-point escape. Yeah, Rattler looked better than he had for the previous month. But the OU offense is often still surprisingly fangless. And the Sooner Schooner has a rickety axle.

But look at it this way, Longhorn and Sooner fans.  Your teams only TRIED to lose. Oregon succeeded, in historic fashion. Quack doctors. Malpractice.

On paper, you’ve only dropped two straight, Aggies. But that is now a defacto three-game losing streak. ‘Bama is next.  And, oh, you’re gonna lose a couple more games after that, too.  A&M attempted only 20 passes in that home loss to Mississippi State (Mississippi State?). Clearly, Jimbo doesn’t like the taste of Cold Calzada Soup. Don’t worry, Jimbo. Things will get plenty “hot” for you soon enough.

OK. Five weeks in, it’s pretty clear. There’s ‘Bama, Georgia, and everybody else. Sorry, SEC haters.

It’ll be interesting to see how Arkansas responds.  The Hogs are legit good. And they got hacked between the hedges.

How’s this for me trying to have it both ways? Yes, I knew Kentucky would play Florida close. But I didn’t think the Wildcats would actually beat the Gators. That was pretty cool.

You say I buried the lead? I’ll plead guilty. Cincy beat the brakes off of Notre Dame. There was nothing fluky about it. If they teed it up again in a Golden Corral parking lot at noon today, the Bearkats would kick their asses again.  Yeah, I admit it. I liked it.

Cincinnati has a legit shot at the CFP.  And who doesn’t want an opportunity to be detonated by either ‘Bama or Georgia?

You know who is legit pretty good? Penn State. You know who may be better than pretty good?  Iowa.  That’s eleven straight for the Hawkeyes dating back to last season.

I guess I should say something nice about Michigan. OK, there it was.

Is this the week UTSA cracks the rankings? It should be. Yeah, I know UNLV is still oh-fer. But that was a good win for the Roadrunners, who showed no obvious letdown after last week’s huge victory in Memphis. 5-0!

Paul is not gonna find a way to work the Rice Owls into this post, is he? Of course! One, dem was some sweet threads Sammy broke out at The World’s Most Beautiful and Elegant Structure. Gray shirts with blue hemmets and britches. Very natty! And, two, smart move by Owl Coach Mike Bloomgren in the closing seconds.  Rice up 24-17, but facing a fourth down deep in Owl territory. The only way you can blow this is to get a punt blocked, right?  So Bloomy takes an intentional safety. 24-19. But now you get a free, uncontested kick with :03 left.  Game over. Rice defeats the Hated Southern Miss Golden Eagles 24-19.  (Covered, too, you know, if you care about things like that.) Louie, Louie, Bitches!

Gonna be an awesome Sunday in the National Football League. Baby, I can’t wait!