I almost couldn’t be bothered with this blog this morning. We have big problems. Our dog is guilt-tripping us.
BB and I just got back from our trip to Chicago. We had to board Frankie for nine days, the longest he’s ever been apart from us. We’re all back together, but Frankie is giving us four cold shoulders.
Frankie is pissed. And he knows he has leverage.
You know what I have yet to hear? Anything resembling a logical or rational argument for opposing masks. Deconstruct their rants. They all ultimately come down to this. “I don’t wanna and you can’t make me!” Coming straight from a crib and high chair near you.
“Masks don’t work!”
Yeah, they do.
“I can’t breathe!”
Really, bitches? You’d prefer a ventilator?
“My body, my choice!”
The obvious political irony aside, it’s not just your body. It’s everybody else’s bodies, too. You don’t get this whole “contagious” or “communicable” thing? What were you doing during 6th grade science class? Never mind, I know what you were doing. And it turns out, it did in fact make you blind.
“Freedom!”
Nice try. Don’t cloak your ignorant, selfish cowardice in false nobility. Our personal freedoms end where somebody else’s nose and lungs begin. That’s a bedrock CONSERVATIVE principle. And, yes, I did just call you an ignorant, selfish coward.
“It’s forced compliance!”
Pretty much, Petunia. Like pretty much any other law or regulation on the books. We expect you to stop at red lights. We have seat belt laws. You can’t smoke in public places. Breaking and entering is still frowned upon.
“My kid doesn’t like it!”
Actually, it’s clear that this is a much bigger deal to you than it is to your kid. You’re using your kid as a prop. And do you not realize, or not care, that until vaccinations are approved for children under 12, masks are the only protection they have?
“This doesn’t affect children!”
Did you just suddenly stop paying attention about four months ago?
“It’s big government!”
And prohibiting mask mandates issued by localities, school districts and private businesses isn’t? Aren’t you the “local and private control” folks? All I ever ask is that you keep your story straight.
“I’m tired of this shit!”
Bingo! Now we’re talking! That actually is the only intelligent point you’ve made yet. I’m tired of this shit, too.
Which is why I’m vaxxed up and masked up, so we can finally get this shit behind us. It’s called “adulting.”
Happy 77th birthday to America’s greatest living singer/songwriter, Robert Lamm.
And I’m not taking this personally. Paul McCartney says that Radically Rational is just a blues cover band. Sir Paul is correct.
