Once again, NFL “Prime Time” becomes Slime Time. Thursday Nights have been abysmal. The games have been so bad that Al Michaels is threatening retirement.

We haven’t exactly been waiting all day for Sunday Night so far this season (although the Cowboys-Eagles game was compelling in the second half).

And then there was Monday Night at SoFi. The Chargers and Broncos combined for two touchdowns in 72 minutes and 52 seconds. Once again, we had a prime-time game that produced seven field goals. The pivotal play of the game was a muffed punt in OT.

Scintillating.

I shaved my legs for this?

I’ll pose the question. Do you think Pete Carroll knew something we didn’t? Or at least that the Broncos didn’t? Because Petey pulled off a Colorado Rocky Mountain Heist. (I’ve seen it rainin’ fire in the sky.) Carroll pulled five draft picks (including two first-rounders and two second-rounders), and three players from Denver in exchange for Russell Wilson. Petey then watched the Broncos go into hock by signing Wilson to a five-year, $245 million contract.

And right now Geno Smith in Seattle is a much better NFL quarterback than Russell Wilson. The Broncos have scored 16 points or fewer in five of their six games. Denver had minus-9 net yards passing in the second half against the Chargers. Wilson completed three of eleven passes for 15 yards in the second half. That ten-for-ten streak Wilson had to start the game?  Fool’s gold.

Right now Russell Wilson’s Bird has avian flu.

It is 3:55 a.m. Tuesday as I write. Yes, I am re-watching this game on the NFL Network in an act of hopeless masochism. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. It was worse.

Do you realize that neither team made a first down in OT?

Oh, and Wilson wasn’t the only pig-in-a-poke purchase the Donkeys made in the offseason. Nathaniel Hackett is the most clueless NFL head coach in recent memory. That is, with the possible exception of the Chargers’ Brandon Staley. That’s my “analytic” evaluation. Watching those guys is like watching an episode of “Lost,” minus any entertainment value.

You know a game should be on a shelf at the Dollar Store when the toughest and most productive player on the field was the Chargers’ one-legged field goal kicker.

But, yeah, I’ll watch Monday Night Football again next week.

My name is Paul, and I’m a footballholic.

Oh, one more thing. The Broncos host the Jets Sunday. You tell me which of those teams will play harder and smarter.

The Cardinals have acquired WR Robbie Anderson in a trade with the Panthers. Yeah, that’s the same Robbie Anderson that was kicked off the field Sunday by Carolina interim coach Steve Wilks for being a jackass on the sideline. Wow. Just what the Cardinals need. Another malcontent. (Yes, I’m aware that Arizona had to do something following the injury to Hollywood Brown.)

And speaking of malcontents, how did things get so sideways between the Rams and Cam Akers?

Easterby is finally out with the Texans. I never understood how he got in with the Texans in the first place.

Texas at Okie State and UCLA at Oregon this Saturday. I’m in!

So Game Five of the ALDS between the Yankees and Guardians was pushed back until Tuesday because of rain in the Bronx? That’s OK. We’ll wait. GO ‘STROS!