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Wowzer. All of that and Taylor Swift, too.

The Cowboys succeeded only in making Joshua Dobbs look like Lamar Jackson. The Cardinals scored on all five of their first-half possessions and piled up 187 rushing yards by halftime. Dallas committed 13 penalties, ten of them in the first half. Yes, Dak threw a red zone interception, his first pick of the season. Yes, he did throw that into triple coverage.

Surprised? Why? The Cardinals own the Cowboys in the desert, having won eight of their last ten meetings in AZ.

Seventy points and 700 yards. Gee, you don’t see that every day. Actually, nobody had ever seen that combination in the NFL until yesterday, when the Dolphins relegated the Broncos to an FCS school. I’m trying to think if we’ve ever seen a team with more speed than the Dolphins. The answer is no.

Look at it this way, Bears. At least you get to play the Broncos next.

Bears coach Matt Eberflus says he’s going to take a “hard look” at everything. I’ll save you some time and trouble, pal. I’ve already looked. Hard. At everything. Your team sucks.

C.J. Stroud is an absolutely beautiful thrower of the football. Gorgeous. And how about the wheels that Texans fullback Andrew Beck displayed on that 85-yard kickoff return? Also, it was great to see Coach Ryans get his first win.

I was hoping that Brandon Staley would get fired, even in victory. I would say I’ve never seen a coach make a worse decision, but the truth is that Staley does stuff like that all the time. His Charger team was up 28-24 with the ball late in the game and facing a fourth and one at their own 24. Punt the ball. Play defense. You have a four-point lead. Duh. But Staley elected to go for it. The play got stuffed, setting up the Vikings for a possible go-ahead touchdown on a short field. It didn’t blow up in Staley’s face only because Vikings fans were so noisy that Kirk Cousins could not cleanly set up a play from the LA 6, resulting in a game-sealing tipped-pass interception for the Chargers. The Vikings could have avoided all that chaos by simply spiking the ball to stop the clock. Did you hear Jimmy Johnson wear out both Staley and Vikings coach Kevin O’Connell after the game?

What do you do if you’re down 17-0 in the fourth quarter at home? Well, if you’re Jordan Love and the Packers you just reel off 18 unanswered to beat the Saints. Nuthin’ to it.

MNF DOUBLE-HEADER PICKS

Eagles 30 Bucs 20

Bengals 27 Rams 24

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Paul's Bio

I clearly have the attention span of your median fruit fly.Look! Airplane!

Sorry. I’m back.

It’s both a curse and a blessing. I’ve never bought this stuff about, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” But I do think that a wide range of life experiences helps us grow as people, and helps us better relate to other people. I’ve been fortunate. And I am beyond grateful.

I show up on time. I go like hell. I’m a good listener. I hold myself accountable. I own my mistakes. And I have a natural and an insatiable curiosity. I’m never afraid to say, “I don’t know,” when I don’t. But then I try to find out.

The flip side is I’m a lousy ballroom dancer and my clothes sometimes fit me funny.

Stuff matters to me. I care. But while I take that stuff seriously, I try hard to never take myself seriously. As a result, I have sometimes been told, “Paul, it’s hard to tell when you’re serious and when you’re just having some fun. Which is it? Serious or fun?”

My answer is “yes.” But I think that is a legitimate criticism. I promise I’m going to work on that.

This has been the quickest and strangest half-century I’ve ever experienced. During that period, I’ve been afforded amazing opportunities in news and sports journalism across all platforms. I have taught wonderful students at the high school and collegiate level. Always, I learned more from them than they did from me. I’ve been a high school administrator. I spent ten seasons as a high school varsity football coach. I’ve been an advertising executive. I’ve hosted nationally syndicated television entertainment shows. In maybe the biggest honor I ever received, I was selected by NASA to be “Chet The Astronaut” for the “Land The Shuttle” simulator at Space Center Houston. (All I can say there, is “Do as I say, not as I do.” I put that thing in the Everglades more often than not.) Most recently, I just wrapped up a decade as a television news director, during which time our teams distinguished themselves in holding the powerful accountable, achieving both critical and ratings success.

What does all that mean? It means I am profoundly grateful. It also means I’m ready for “next.” So here we are. Radically Rational. It’s an idea I woke up with in 2017. I scribbled “Radically Rational” on a piece of notebook paper and used a magnet to stick it on our refrigerator. I saw it every day, and it just would not leave me alone.

I am second in charge at Radically Rational, LLC. My wife, Jo (also known as BB), is the president. Clearly, I have failed in my attempt to sleep my way to the top of this organization.

I hope you will learn that I’m loyal as a Labrador. But I will admit that this doggie can bite every now and then. My promise to you? I will show up on time. I will go like hell. I will listen to you earnestly and attentively. I will hold myself accountable. I will never be the least bit hesitant to say, “I don’t know,” when I don’t.

But then I’ll try to find out. Let’s do it.