This just in. Scott Van Pelt is really good. And he makes it look so very easy. It’s not. Duh-duh-DUH. Duh-duh-DUH!

I am disgusted by the back-door, rumor-mongering trashing of C.J. Stroud. This Black-Ops stuff is shameful. Now, all of a sudden, somebody has put it out there that teams are souring on Stroud, and that he is somehow deficient in “information processing.” Careful. That sounds a little reminiscent of the “Black quarterback” trope. Now, only a little more than a day away from Thursday night’s draft, Stroud is said to be “slipping.” Deplorable. The young man has done everything asked of him, and more. His video at Ohio State speaks for itself. Have you forgotten the way he lit up what was essentially an NFL-caliber Georgia Bulldog defense? He put on a show at the Combine, and then reprised it at his OSU Pro Day. His has handled himself both gracefully and graciously. Stroud has been almost universally ranked as either the best or second best QB available. Until now. This stinks.

Is it a coincidence that allahmussudden Kentucky QB Will Levis is said to be a red-hot and rising commodity? The intrigue will play out Thursday night.

But the Panthers certainly turned up the intrigue dial Tuesday when they announced they have reached “a consensus” on whom they will draft at #1. They’re just not telling anyone.

Sure, I checked out the final mock draft by ESPN’s NFL Nation reporters. It has Bijan Robinson falling all the way to the Patriots at #14, even though, you know, he doesn’t play a “premium position.” Somebody finally told me that “SMH” means, “shaking my head.” SMH.

Now that Dan Snyder is out of the way, the Arizona Cardinals’ Michael Bidwill has ascended to Slimiest Owner in the NFL. In the words of Jalen Rose, Bidwill is a “habitual line-stepper.”

Don’t be cynical. That was an absolutely beautiful parting statement by Aaron Rodgers. I don’t for a minute doubt his sincerity in expressing that he’ll “always be a Packer.” Just as I never doubted Favre’s sincerity when he said the same thing. But Favre did turn the page. And so will A-Rod.

The Vikings have had to make some difficult decisions this offseason. But picking up Justin Jefferson’s fifth year option Tuesday was not one of them.

Ditto the Bengals and Joe Burrow. As long as Mahomes is around and at the top of his game, Burrow will not be the top QB in the NFL. But he’s the second-best, and he’s closer to #1 than he is to #3. Now Cincinnati will mortgage the city and at least two of its three rivers to sign JB to a long-term deal.

Huh. Interesting. Former Oregon State QB Chance Nolan, who often looked great in Corvallis when he was healthy, has transferred to TCU, where he will battle Chandler Morris for the right to succeed Max Duggan as the Frogs’ Main Man.

But the portal giveth and the portal taketh away. The Houston Cougars reportedly did not see this coming. Stud running back Alton McCaskill IV is expected to step into the ether Wednesday. Destination yet unknown, or at least undisclosed. I say just stay in H-town, Alton. You’d look great in blue.

Onward, Nuggets. Onward, Suns.

But the Celtics have to be at least little nervous, since, you know, they’ve blown situations like this before.

Sure, I was delighted that the Astros shut out Tampa Bay 5-0 Tuesday night to end the Rays’ 14-game season-opening home winning streak. But I can’t help but feel badly for the Rays. That game—against the defending World Series champs—drew 9,916 spectators.