“Pitchers and catchers report.” That’s music to the ears of baseball fans as Spring Training cranks up in Florida and Arizona. The tune this Spring is all about getting MLB players to dance to the slate of new rules, starting with the pitch clock. Pitchers will have 15 seconds to let it fly if the bases are empty, and 20 if there’s anybody on base.

The idea of course is to speed up the game, the same as another new wrinkle limiting pitchers to two pickoff-moves or steps off the rubber per plate appearance.

OK. I’m all right so far. I really haven’t been offended by the length of games, particularly if I’m at a ballpark, but whatever.

Baseball itself may not be bigger this year, but the bases will be. I mean the actual bags, which will be expanded from the traditional 15-inch sided squares to 18 inches. This will make the sacks look, as Red Sox skipper Alex Cora described them, “like pizza boxes.”

This is not entirely a cheesy innovation. The larger base surfaces should make the game at least a little safer, particularly at first base. And consider this. These throw pillows will shorten the basepaths from first to second and second to third by four inches, which theoretically should increase stolen bases. I’ll believe it when I see it. Most baseball strategy these days is limited to “Let’s just hope we hit a three-run homer.”

But at this point the rule-makers now have stopped preachin’ and gone to meddlin’. The Lords of The Diamond have outlawed infield defensive shifts in order to artificially preserve the stats and bloated contracts of hitters who have never learned to use the entire field. Going forward, defenses will not allow infielders to position themselves on the outfield grass, and infielders will have to “balance up,” with two players on either side of second base. No more sticking three dudes between first and second against left-handed pull hitters or three between second and third versus righties.

Why don’t we give batters a blankie, a binky and a teething ring, too?  And don’t forget to keep a box of Pampers in the clubhouse. There, there, little fella. It’s gonna be ok. Please don’t cry.

Baseball likes to fancy itself a “strategic,” or thinking man’s game. Outlawing the shift just lowered the sport’s IQ by half.

Here’s my feeling. You have nine defensive players. The pitcher has to be on the mound. The catcher has to be behind the plate. Stick the other seven guys wherever you want to, and be as creative and diabolical as you can. Make batters try to hit it where you ain’t.

Outlawing the shift is like banning the blitz in football, because after all, we wouldn’t want our quarterbacks to be stressed, now would we?

Outrageous. Oh, and the umps say they’re going to call more balks this season, too. Gee, that’ll be great.

This year’s Spring Training could be a little bumpy, made even rockier by the fact that it will be interrupted from March 7-21 by the World Baseball Classic.

You know who I’m pulling for? Derek Carr. Good quarterback. Good man.

Man, it’s only Wednesday and it’s already been a rough week for the Philadelphia Eagles. Of course there was that Super Bowl thing on Sunday. And now the Iggles have lost both of their 2022 coordinators to NFL head coaching positions. Now former Philly OC Shane Steicher is headed to Indy. Good luck with that. And ex-DC Jonathan Gannon now officially has The Worst Job in the NFL as he begins his cat-herding and baby-sitting duties with the Arizona Cardinals. I gotchyer Hard Knocks right here, buddy.

This move caught my eye. Georgia Bulldog OC Todd Monken is leaving the SEC to become the OC of the Baltimore Ravens. Earlier in his career, Monken did a most impressive job as the OC of the Bucs and Browns. Let’s see what he can do with Lamar Jackson. That is, provided Jackson shows up. This contract dispute will be the messiest chapter in what could prove to be a very messy offseason around the league.

I may weigh in on what’s going on with Eric Bieniemy on Thursday. This may not be as straightforward a case of racial discrimination as many people think it is.