Does that Maverick uniform make Luka Doncic’s ass look fat?
A salute to college football for clearing everything else out this Saturday, leaving the sole spotlight on Army-Navy. It’s funny how I’ve changed since I was a kid. Army-Navy used to creep me out, primarily because it meant the season was ending. Now, I still get the shivering shakes for the same reason, but Army-Navy has become my favorite game of every season. I’ll be locked in on every snap. America’s Game.
LSU has a quarterback dilemma. Starter Max Johnson has entered the transfer portal. Because of earlier attrition, that leaves true freshman Garrett Nussmeier as the Tigers’ only scholarship QB heading into their Texas Bowl matchup with Kansas State. That’s a problem, because if Nussmeier plays, he’ll lose his redshirt and a year of eligibility. Hmmm…What Would Bill Belichick Do? (Start a running back at QB and throw only three passes?) Just sayin’…
Oh, Max Johnson is the son of former NFL Super Bowl winner Brad Johnson. Max is getting out of Baton Rouge (just after Brian Kelly has taken over). Max’s little brother Jake is the nation’s top-rated TE in next year’s recruiting class. Jake has now de-committed to LSU and is once again datable.
Actually, LSU has more than just a problem with their Johnsons. Starting with that bizarre accent Brian Kelly has affected now that he’s in Cajun Country. WTH?
Guess who is back in the Cardinals’ weight room and running his three-time NFL Defensive Player of the Year ass off. I’ll protect his identity, but his initials are J.J. I love that guy. I truly love that guy. He is everything great about The Great Game. If he pulls this off I’m gonna lump up pretty hard.
I’m already lumping up about his former team, but for different reasons. Mygawd, the Texans are truly, awfully, astoundingly, astonishingly bad. And that’s sad.
Is this it for Fitzmagic? Ryan F. is gonna need more arthroscopic surgery on his subluxated hip (let’s all cringe together in 3…2…1…) That officially ends his 17th NFL season. And that will do it on his one-year deal with the WFT. Will he want to try to find a TENTH NFL team in 2022? Never underestimate a 39-year-old, Rasputin-bearded, undrafted free agent from Harvard.
Watch Yo Ass Wednesday!
No college ball this weekend except for Army-Navy. And that matchup requires no auto-ass-observation.
So you know who bettah watch they ass this weekend?
Your Dallas Cowboys.
The WFT has won four straight. That defense is finally living up to its press clippings. This Heinicke leaves no funky aftertaste. Objects in rear-view mirror may be closer than they appear.
DALLAS BETTAH WATCH THEY ASS!