Remember Multi-Level Marketing product pyramid schemes? They’re older than actual pyramids.
You know how they work. Dozens of naïve underlings get pressured, browbeaten, guilt-tripped and ultimately enslaved to do all the dirty work required to keep one shady “godfather” on top of the pyramid.
The sales godfather knows that the product—whatever the product—is bullshit. But that doesn’t matter as long as the Big Wheel Keeps on Turnin’. The minions then put their delusional ambition ahead of their scruples to maintain and advance their flimsy fantasies.
Welcome to Scamway. Or Gerbilife. Donald Trump, CEO.
Welcome to Multi-Level Seditious Conspiracy.
I’ll say this for Drumpf. He covered all his bases. He wore a belt AND suspenders. He had a backup plan to his backup plan. His pyramid scheme was built with more internal redundancy than a NASA booster.
- Lie.
- Keep lying.
- JMSU—Just Make Stuff Up.
- Attempt to stop counting votes.
- Try to stop state certifications.
- Take it to court, and go oh-for-63.
- Pressure and even threaten legislators and election officials.
- Endanger the life of the vice president of the United States.
- Incite, ignite, sustain and defend a violent, deadly armed insurrection at our nation’s Capitol with the clear and pre-meditated intent of overthrowing the government of the United States.
- Create and submit slates of fake electors.
- Lie.
- Keep lying.
There’s your Dirty Dozen.
You know how this ends. As In all flimsy, multi-level sales pyramids, the walls crumble and fall on top of the peons, leaving them with no dignity, no honor, no money, no hope, no respect, no future and no friends.
Think about this. And then tell me if it is in any way overstated. The ONLY thing that can get you into trouble in today’s GOP is refusing to lie and telling the truth. The ONLY thing. Literally the only thing.
Marjorie Taylor Greene is fine. Lauren Boebert is fine. Rudy Giuliani means well. Matt Gaetz is misunderstood. Bannon is just doin’ what a dude gotta do. Kevin McCarthy is just trying to keep his cat herd together. Louis Gohmert is right when he bitches that, “Hell, things are so bad for Republicans now that you can’t even lie to Congress anymore.”
We are still tenuously here as a country because of the likes of Republican Arizona Speaker of the House Rusty Bowers. From Tuesday’s hearing:
“I will not break my oath.”
Being asked to lie is “Foreign to my very being.”
“The rule of law prevents me from doing that.”
“We have no legal path for us to execute such a request.”
“We choose to follow the outcome of the will of the people.”
“This isn’t the right thing to do.”
“This is a tragic parody.”
“I do not want to be a winner by cheating.”
Bowers has of course received death threats.
Meanwhile the likes of Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger have been excommunicated. Their “crime”? They told, and continue to tell, the truth.
There’s nothing funnier than Mo Brooks whining about Trump’s selfishness and absence of integrity. Nothing. Who did you think you were cuddling up with? My Little Pony?
And there’s nothing less funny than this. That Uvalde classroom door was unlocked the whole time.
Federal gas tax suspension? Gemstone or gimmick? Let me think about this. That’s what rational people do.
Finally, who the hell does Deshaun Watson think he is? Bill Cosby?
