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Remember Multi-Level Marketing product pyramid schemes? They’re older than actual pyramids.

You know how they work. Dozens of naïve underlings get pressured, browbeaten, guilt-tripped and ultimately enslaved to do all the dirty work required to keep one shady “godfather” on top of the pyramid.

The sales godfather knows that the product—whatever the product—is bullshit. But that doesn’t matter as long as the Big Wheel Keeps on Turnin’. The minions then put their delusional ambition ahead of their scruples to maintain and advance their flimsy fantasies.

Welcome to Scamway. Or Gerbilife. Donald Trump, CEO.

Welcome to Multi-Level Seditious Conspiracy.

I’ll say this for Drumpf. He covered all his bases. He wore a belt AND suspenders. He had a backup plan to his backup plan. His pyramid scheme was built with more internal redundancy than a NASA booster.

  1. Lie.
  2. Keep lying.
  3. JMSU—Just Make Stuff Up.
  4. Attempt to stop counting votes.
  5. Try to stop state certifications.
  6. Take it to court, and go oh-for-63.
  7. Pressure and even threaten legislators and election officials.
  8. Endanger the life of the vice president of the United States.
  9. Incite, ignite, sustain and defend a violent, deadly armed insurrection at our nation’s Capitol with the clear and pre-meditated intent of overthrowing the government of the United States.
  10. Create and submit slates of fake electors.
  11. Lie.
  12. Keep lying.

There’s your Dirty Dozen.

You know how this ends. As In all flimsy, multi-level sales pyramids, the walls crumble and fall on top of the peons, leaving them with no dignity, no honor, no money, no hope, no respect, no future and no friends.

Think about this. And then tell me if it is in any way overstated. The ONLY thing that can get you into trouble in today’s GOP is refusing to lie and telling the truth. The ONLY thing. Literally the only thing.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is fine. Lauren Boebert is fine. Rudy Giuliani means well. Matt Gaetz is misunderstood. Bannon is just doin’ what a dude gotta do. Kevin McCarthy is just trying to keep his cat herd together.  Louis Gohmert is right when he bitches that, “Hell, things are so bad for Republicans now that you can’t even lie to Congress anymore.”

We are still tenuously here as a country because of the likes of Republican Arizona Speaker of the House Rusty Bowers.  From Tuesday’s hearing:

“I will not break my oath.”

Being asked to lie is “Foreign to my very being.”

“The rule of law prevents me from doing that.”

“We have no legal path for us to execute such a request.”

“We choose to follow the outcome of the will of the people.”

“This isn’t the right thing to do.”

“This is a tragic parody.”

“I do not want to be a winner by cheating.”

Bowers has of course received death threats.

Meanwhile the likes of Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger have been excommunicated. Their “crime”? They told, and continue to tell, the truth.

There’s nothing funnier than Mo Brooks whining about Trump’s selfishness and absence of integrity. Nothing. Who did you think you were cuddling up with? My Little Pony?

And there’s nothing less funny than this. That Uvalde classroom door was unlocked the whole time.

Federal gas tax suspension? Gemstone or gimmick? Let me think about this. That’s what rational people do.

Finally, who the hell does Deshaun Watson think he is? Bill Cosby?

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Paul's Bio

I clearly have the attention span of your median fruit fly.Look! Airplane!

Sorry. I’m back.

It’s both a curse and a blessing. I’ve never bought this stuff about, “He who dies with the most toys wins.” But I do think that a wide range of life experiences helps us grow as people, and helps us better relate to other people. I’ve been fortunate. And I am beyond grateful.

I show up on time. I go like hell. I’m a good listener. I hold myself accountable. I own my mistakes. And I have a natural and an insatiable curiosity. I’m never afraid to say, “I don’t know,” when I don’t. But then I try to find out.

The flip side is I’m a lousy ballroom dancer and my clothes sometimes fit me funny.

Stuff matters to me. I care. But while I take that stuff seriously, I try hard to never take myself seriously. As a result, I have sometimes been told, “Paul, it’s hard to tell when you’re serious and when you’re just having some fun. Which is it? Serious or fun?”

My answer is “yes.” But I think that is a legitimate criticism. I promise I’m going to work on that.

This has been the quickest and strangest half-century I’ve ever experienced. During that period, I’ve been afforded amazing opportunities in news and sports journalism across all platforms. I have taught wonderful students at the high school and collegiate level. Always, I learned more from them than they did from me. I’ve been a high school administrator. I spent ten seasons as a high school varsity football coach. I’ve been an advertising executive. I’ve hosted nationally syndicated television entertainment shows. In maybe the biggest honor I ever received, I was selected by NASA to be “Chet The Astronaut” for the “Land The Shuttle” simulator at Space Center Houston. (All I can say there, is “Do as I say, not as I do.” I put that thing in the Everglades more often than not.) Most recently, I just wrapped up a decade as a television news director, during which time our teams distinguished themselves in holding the powerful accountable, achieving both critical and ratings success.

What does all that mean? It means I am profoundly grateful. It also means I’m ready for “next.” So here we are. Radically Rational. It’s an idea I woke up with in 2017. I scribbled “Radically Rational” on a piece of notebook paper and used a magnet to stick it on our refrigerator. I saw it every day, and it just would not leave me alone.

I am second in charge at Radically Rational, LLC. My wife, Jo (also known as BB), is the president. Clearly, I have failed in my attempt to sleep my way to the top of this organization.

I hope you will learn that I’m loyal as a Labrador. But I will admit that this doggie can bite every now and then. My promise to you? I will show up on time. I will go like hell. I will listen to you earnestly and attentively. I will hold myself accountable. I will never be the least bit hesitant to say, “I don’t know,” when I don’t.

But then I’ll try to find out. Let’s do it.