You don’t want to read this any more than I want to write it. But two months ago we all thought we were going to have a “normal” football season. We were all wrong.
Sadly, I am telling you now that this season will be even MORE messed up than last year, at all levels of football. And these new and preventable tensions are going to tear at teams from your local middle school through the NFL.
Thank your unvaccinated neighbor.
I’m hearing there are multiple NFL teams who are willing to trade for Deshaun Watson, despite the certainty that The Jolly Roger is gonna sit him down for at least most if not all of the 2021 season, no matter what happens to Watson in the legal system. Eagles, Broncos, Panthers and Dolphins might take the plunge.
Houston QB? Tyrod Taylor will begin the season as the starter. But the more I look at third round draft choice Davis Mills (Stanford) the more intrigued I get. Dayum. Big ass arm. And he has a “cool” about him.
The Packers are trying to get the band back together for the A-Rod Farewell Tour. Aaron wants Randall Cobb back? Then Aaron will get Randall Cobb back. The Packers and Texans will work that deal out, probably by the time you read this.
But understand this. This is not gonna be a grand exit for Rodgers, and this is not going to go well for the Packers. The tension in that locker room will be endless and stifling. Guys are gonna get sick of being asked about this melodrama every day, and it will cleave that team. So I’m not gonna wait. I’m picking the Vikings to win the NFC North right now.
Malik Hooker is a nice pick-up for the Cowboys, even though he’s coming off an Achilles injury. Pro.
Yeah, like you I sometimes get tired of guys demanding to re-work their contracts. But disgruntled Dolphins corner Xavien Howard may have a case. He had ten picks last year. Did you hear what I said? TEN PICKS, the most by any NFL player since 2007. TEN PICKS. To quote Lil’ Penny, “THAT’S TYRA BANKS, FOO!”
WFT Coach Ron Rivera says he’s beyond disappointed by his team’s dismal vaccination rate. Careful, players. Your coach is a badass. He kicked cancer’s ass. He can kick yours. WFT? How about “WTF”?
“Dear SEC. If you invite us to the prom, we promise our dresses will hit the floor before the ten o’clock news. Unless we get a better offer.” (signed) Yootee and Au Jus.
Astros are going for it. Now. Bullpen was their one owie. Not anymore. We welcome former Mariners’ reliever Kendall Groveman, who has not allowed an earned run in his last 12 appearances.
Simone Biles has an injury that prevents her from competing in a sport in which a lapse in confidence and concentration could lead to catastrophic injury. She has my unqualified support. Now awaiting a barrage of criticism from old fat guys who can’t touch their toes accusing Biles of a “lack of mental toughness.”
And you know what I always say. “When you’re feelin’ the heat, take it out on Iran.”
Until tomorrow, very truly yours, Wednesday Addams.